Letting go of judgement

Flowers at a local nature reserve

I became interested in mindfulness during the first lockdown of 2020. It helped me to clear my mind of all the worrying thoughts and uncertainty that I was feeling at the time and made it easier for me to concentrate on one day at a time. It also introduced me to the practice of meditation.

The three main concepts of mindfulness are; awareness, non-judgement and living in the present moment. I apply all three of these to my art practice and further cultivate them through meditation. When it comes to art making, I have found practicing non-judgement the most challenging. My inner critic has been at the forefront of my thoughts around my art for so long that it can be difficult to switch her off or ignore her unhelpful comments. She wants everything I make to look perfect and nothing I do to go wrong. She doesn’t want me to try new things in case I fail. She stopped me from creating my own, original, art for a long time. Years in fact. Until one day I realized that she was only tripping me up because I was letting her. So I stopped listening. I tried playing with some paint and drawing things. She was wrong, the world didn’t end and I didn’t hate everything that I had made! I actually quite liked some of it and wanted to carry on making more.

Experimenting in my sketchbook with drawing and painting a lemon

It is a constant battle to keep her quiet but the more art I make the easier it gets. I know that I won’t like a lot of what I make and that’s ok, I accept that; I can take the bits I do like and work with them. That’s how I develop my own voice and find my own visual language.

For me, the keys to letting go of judgement are meditation, journaling and blind contour drawing. Meditation enables clarity and focus in my process as well as promoting my self-belief. If I believe I can do it then I will and if I believe I can’t then I won’t!

Journalling helps me to make sense of what I am doing through constant assessment. When I am clear on my direction and my reasons for doing something it is easier to silence the inner critic using reason and diplomacy.

Blind contour drawings of plants in handmade sketchbook

Blind Contour Drawing is a process of drawing which requires me not to look at my paper as I am drawing. I concentrate my eyes on the subject and draw what I see without looking down at what I am doing. This kind of drawing has helped me to let go of perfectionism and often produces much more interesting results than when I draw more considered studies. I make blind contour drawings to practice my drawing skills and keep me inspired every day.

Wildflowers

Spending time in nature encourages me to let go of judgement. By taking her lead I too can embrace the imperfection of the world around me. Wildflowers manage to spring up, a tangle of stems, in the most unlikely places to brighten an otherwise gloomy spot. A rose bush does not fret if it’s flowers are not all perfectly alike and blooming in unison. It adapts to the conditions it finds itself in and produces a succession of unique and interesting blooms. They may be different sizes or shapes but they all possess a beauty of their own. In this way, I can let go of judgement too and produce different types of art. Some of it I like and some I don’t but it all has a place in my practice and all possesses it’s own beauty and validity.